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Number of listings removed from our directory since 1st November 2019 = 750

Planning Your Wedding: An Adventure in Matrimonial Madness

submitted on 22 January 2024 by


Nothing quite compares to the titanic task of planning one's wedding. Not only is it an event that celebrates the love between two people, but it is also a colossal exercise in logistics, diplomacy, and patience. However, fear not! For I have traversed the land of tulle and tasted the tears of a thousand brides to bring you this guide on navigating the turbulent waters of wedding planning. From selecting a breathtaking venue to surviving the barrage of unsolicited advice, we shall bravely venture forth.

Finding the Perfect Venue

Selecting the ideal wedding venue is essential, for it will be the backdrop of your eternal memories and the stage upon which family drama will inevitably unfold. To find a location that suits both your taste and budget, embark on a quest to visit as many venues as humanly possible. Cast aside the naysayers who suggest you are being too picky; the perfect venue is out there, waiting for you to discover it like a lovestruck explorer stumbling upon an undiscovered country. Do not be swayed by the silken words of venue managers who promise you the world and deliver only a tent next to a parking lot. Trust your instincts and remember that you are the captain of the good ship Matrimony, steering towards the horizon of wedded bliss. If a venue does not speak to your soul, continue your search undeterred, for settling is for the weak of heart.

Creating the Guest List

Whilst you might have a mental list of those you wish to share your special day with, the reality of creating a guest list is akin to solving a fiendishly complicated puzzle. One must consider the delicate balance of family politics, the potential for inter-guest feuds, and the financial implications of inviting Great Aunt Mildred, whom you haven't seen in a decade, but would be heartbroken if she were not invited. Take solace in the fact that the guest list challenge is one faced by every couple and that you will invariably make a decision that upsets someone, somewhere. To minimize this damage, approach the task with the tactical prowess of a seasoned general and remember that the ultimate goal is to surround yourself with love and support, not to please everyone.

Surviving Unsolicited Advice

As you navigate the planning process, you will attract an unrelenting torrent of unsolicited advice from friends, family, and even strangers. It matters not if you have already selected your color scheme or painstakingly crafted your centerpieces; an army of well-meaning individuals will descend upon you with an array of suggestions and criticisms. It is essential that you develop the ability to smile, nod, and ignore. Remember, your wedding is a reflection of you and your partner's love, and not a platform for others to live vicariously through. Be gracious in receiving advice, for it is often given with the best of intentions, but know that you have the final say and that your decisions should be respected.

Keeping Your Sanity Intact

Wedding planning can be a maelstrom of emotion, capable of reducing even the most stoic individual to tears. It is essential that you maintain a sense of perspective throughout the process and remember that, despite the importance of the day, it is merely one day in a lifetime of marital bliss. Take time for yourself amidst the chaos, ensuring that you remain connected to your partner and able to laugh together at the absurdity of it all. If all else fails, keep a bottle of your favorite libation handy for those moments when it feels as though the world is conspiring against you.


Planning a wedding is, without a doubt, a monumental task fraught with challenges and obstacles. Yet, armed with this guide and the knowledge that you are embarking on a life-changing adventure, you can navigate the treacherous path towards marital bliss. So, gather your inner strength, hold fast to your partner, and brace yourself for a wild and thrilling ride through the realm of wedding planning. For at the end of this journey awaits a lifetime of love, laughter, and memories to cherish.
  • Find the perfect venue that speaks to your soul and sets the stage for your matrimonial masterpiece.
  • Master the art of creating a guest list that balances family politics, feuds, and finances.
  • Survive the barrage of unsolicited advice by smiling, nodding, and ultimately deciding for yourself.
  • Keep your sanity intact by maintaining perspective and taking time to connect with your partner.
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